Season 12 - Ep 137: My Community Runneth Over | Why “self-care” isn’t only about you with Tanika Ray

Jan 29, 2023

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When you think about self-care, the term itself implies that it’s just about one  

But actually, that doesn’t tell the whole story. 

As we move through our lives, we’re supported by stilts. Like a house on the water, you might not always see them holding you up, but you couldn’t be there without them. Those stilts are the hands of your community. Friends, family, partners, and pets, some are just ships passing in the night, while others remain steadfast throughout our lives. 

Particularly when the seas feel choppy and life changes course with little warning, those steady hands become our path to sanctuary. They keep us connected to our roots, and they are what guide us back home to self. 

This week, Karlee invites you to take respite in the wisdom of Tanika Ray, a pop culture & lifestyle specialist with a holistic view of the cross sections of culture. Her podcast, Mamaste, is a sanctuary for the mommy collective. There, she fosters community and amplifies wellness, self-love, self-care, life lessons, and unapologetic boundaries.

In this episode, you’ll hear how becoming a mother profoundly shifted Tanika’s perspective about what’s important, and how it changed her definition of rest. She shares detailed insights from her upbringing, telling the story of her search for authentic community and for her truth, starting from the inside out. 

Rest can often feel like a defiant act of self-care. But sanctuary needs stilts.  

If you’re ready to find sanctuary and claim the space you need to come “home” to yourself, then this episode - and this community- are for you. 

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

Why community is an important part of creating sanctuary (2:41)

How parenting changes your worldview (5:54)

Sourcing validation from the inside out (10:36)

Why the definition of rest is highly personal (15:16)

Getting to the roots of why your fears exist (19:40)

Resources included in this Episode: 

Book: Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity by Saundra Dalton-Smith

Article: What is a flow state and what are its benefits? (no date) Headspace. Available at: (Accessed: December 19, 2022).  

Connect with Tanika Ray:

Podcast: Mamaste with Tanika Ray



Connect With Karlee: 




Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.