Season 18 Ep 186: Why Does This Always Fall on Me? | A live conversation about stepping out of the fixer role without burning bridges
Jul 27, 2025
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If you're the one everyone comes to for solutions, the one who holds it all together at home and work, have you ever wondered…”Why is it always me?”
Being "the fixer" isn't just about what we do. It's about the internal compulsion we feel to step in, solve problems, and carry the weight when things get hard. It's the guilt we experience when we can't fix everything, and the quiet exhaustion that comes from constantly managing not just our own lives, but everyone else's too.
So why does it always fall on you?
The truth is that you developed this role for good reasons. It's served you and others well. But if it's becoming unsustainable, there are ways to shift the dynamic without abandoning your natural gifts or feeling guilty about creating the boundaries you need.
This week, Karlee teams up with trusted friend and colleague Jack Mason-Goodall for a live group conversation about what it means to be the one who fixes, holds, and carries, and what it costs when no one notices just how much you're managing.
In this episode, you’ll join a thoughtful live audience as they explore why we fall into fixing roles, how these patterns develop from childhood, and most importantly, how to create more sustainable ways of showing up that honor both your capacity to help and your need for support.
If you’re ready to understand the psychology behind your fixing patterns and learn how to shift from "fix or fail" to something more balanced, this episode is for you.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- (17:43) The three relationship roles we all inhabit and how they shape our interactions
- (21:58) How trust influences our tendency to step in and fix
- (26:18) Bringing awareness in to thwart our automatic responses
- (34:28) How to navigate resistance while changing your role in relationships
- (49:08) Vulnerability and self-compassion on the path to change
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Get your FREE "When Helping Gets Heavy" companion guide for this episode
Book: Games People Play: The basic handbook of transactional analysis by Eric Berne MD
People Mentioned in this Episode:
Connect with Jack Mason-Goodall, BSc., MA, MBACP, MBPsS:
AutismOptimismInternational.com
Focused on relationship‑based play therapy, autism family support, coaching for parents, professionals, and businesses
HowToBeUs.com
Offers individual and group psychotherapy/coaching with a commitment to inclusivity (LGBTQIA+ affirming, anti‑oppressive)
Connect With Karlee:
Use the “Text Karlee” option above to send your Audio Comments and Questions to us.
Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.
