Episode 68: Asking For What You Want Without Fear: How Inclusivity Helps Everyone Thrive with Faith Clarke

Feb 22, 2021

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February is boundary month, so for the past few episodes, we’ve been exploring every facet of breaking, bridging, building, and most importantly, including ourselves in our boundary practice.

A big part of that work hangs in the vicinity of fear. We’re afraid of how we’ll be perceived if we ask for what we need. We think it’s easier to just say “ok”.  

But saying “ok” only ends up being more work for you. 

How do we bridge the boundaries we need without letting fear get in the way?

It starts with really understanding the nature of boundaries. 

When we’re afraid to set a boundary, it’s often because we question our authority to create it. We may be blocked by an absence of privilege or a lack of inclusivity. 

Today, Karlee welcomes Faith Clarke for an eye-opening conversation about boundaries, inclusion, support, and conflict. Faith is the best-selling author of  Parenting Like a Ninja: An Autism Mom's Guide to Professional Productivity. From her experience as a computer programer on Wall Street, to raising a child with Autism, she’s discovered a fascination with human motivation and performance psychology. Faith is the co-founder and CEO of Melody of Autism, an educational organization that helps other families with autistic children.

Her experience raising a child with needs that differ from the normative construct shed a light on how this construct really isn’t working for most people. Human beings thrive in environments that allow for connection, so we need to offer a more robust network of support. 

Building a better world means normalizing asking for what we want without fear.

It’s time to stop wasting energy on coping, and recognize that when we create a safe place for humans to be exactly who they are, we all thrive.

If you’re ready to embrace inclusivity, starting with yourself, then this episode is for you! 

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

  • Why winter is the time for a deep dive, not a lift-off (8:58)
  • How fear holds us captive from asking for what we want (12:37)
  • Acknowledging how and when we’re coping (17:40)
  • Eliminating the categories we create around “support” (22:00)
  • Learning through slowing down (34:57)
  • Two signs that your ready for more inclusivity (37:02)
  • Why conflict is actually constructive (43:17)
  • The link between boundaries and power dynamics (48:13)
  • Why inclusion needs to come before diversity (59:36)

Resources Mentioned In This Episode: 

Enroll In The Boundary Academy before Feb 26th HERE

Book: Parenting Like a Ninja: An Autism Mom's Guide to Professional Productivity by Faith Clarke

Video: Last Week’s Boundary Brunch

Episode 58: Being Lied To? The 4 Types of Power and What to Do When What Someone Says, And What They Do, Are Differen‪t‬

Connect With Faith Clark:


Connect With Karlee: 




Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folks at Ginni Media

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